txolops Chapter 104 The Stone God Appears? I've Become a Cult's Messenger!
Chapter 104 The Stone God Appears? I've Become a Cult's Messenger!
Chapter 104 The Stone God Appears? I've Become a Cult's Messenger!
Tie Wuqing froze.
That face, which was always as black as the bottom of a pot and could stop a child from crying at night, now showed a blank expression, as if his worldview had been forcibly crushed by a hydraulic press.
The wide noodles in my hand were still steaming.
The strong, overpowering aroma of scallions forced its way into his nostrils, mingling with the surrounding stench of blood and rotting flesh, causing his stomach to convulse violently.
This is the "Nine Heavens Thunder Punishment Whip," a weapon passed down for three hundred years by the Enforcement Hall.
It is made by taking the tendons of deep-sea dragons and weaving them with bamboo strips made of heavenly thunder. Normally, with just a light wave, the sound of thunder can shatter the soul of a Golden Core cultivator.
Now?
It hung limply, with a few drops of crystal-clear oily soup clinging to it, dripping "plop, plop" onto his dust-free cloud boots, symbols of the dignity of the law.
The splattered oil looked like mocking little yellow flowers.
Tie Wuqing's eyes twitched uncontrollably, at a frequency so fast it was like he was sending a telegram.
Clang!
I heard a heavy thud behind me.
The "Demon-Slaying Sword" slipped from the hands of an elite member of the Enforcement Hall.
The sword is emerald green, with barbs on its surface, and even a delicate little yellow flower atop its tip.
That was a cucumber.
The flowers, still bearing thorns, were so fresh they looked as if they had just been picked from the ground, carrying the unique scent of morning dew.
The collapse was like a high fever, instantly spreading throughout the enforcement team.
Originally used to imprison serious criminals, the chilling "Immortal-Binding Lock" has been transformed into a string of candied hawthorns coated in syrup amidst a sweet and cloying aroma.
The bright red hawthorn balls shimmered with an eerie yet alluring luster in the sunlight.
The black iron prison cart, covered in restrictions and powerful enough to suppress Nascent Soul cultivators, twisted and deformed in a cloud of pink smoke.
It transformed into a large red sedan chair.
The sedan chair curtain was embroidered with mandarin ducks playing in the water, and colorful balls hung at the four corners, making it look as festive as if they were going to the next village to kidnap a bride.
"This—this—"
A disciple who was trying to activate the defensive magic weapon "Xuan Turtle Shield" was holding a basket of steaming hot, thin-skinned, and generously filled xiaolongbao in his palm.
"Gurgle."
Someone swallowed hard, the sound as loud as thunder.
"Elder Tie!"
A face with an innocent smile suddenly appeared right under Tie Wuqing's nose.
The bald disciple, whose neck stretched over two meters long like a giraffe, deftly licked his lips with his long, thin tongue as he swirled the wide noodles in Tie Wuqing's hand, seemingly still wanting more.
"I want to turn the Enforcement Hall prison into a candy store."
He blinked his beady green eyes, his face full of longing, as if describing some grand plan: "The walls are rice cakes, the railings are cookies, and the torture instruments are all candies—that way I won't go hungry while in prison, how wonderful!"
Tie Wuqing felt stomach acid rising to his throat, burning and making his throat sore.
"roll!"
Overwhelmed by shame, he subconsciously channeled all his spiritual power.
kill him!
This monster who blasphemes the law must be killed!
However, the originally violent and fierce thunderous spiritual power in the dantian became viscous and sweet the moment it surged into the meridians, carrying a fruity fragrance.
When it flows out of the fingertips along the meridians, it is no longer thunder.
It's a pinkish-brown strawberry jam.
"puff."
Pink slime sprayed all over the giraffe disciple's face.
There was no bloodshed or carnage, only a sweet and cloying aroma.
Wow! It's strawberry flavored!
The giraffe disciple squealed excitedly, frantically scraping the jam off his face with his long tongue, eating with relish: "Thank you for the gift, Elder! So sweet! Is this the taste of love? Elder Tie, you truly love me!"
crazy.
This world has gone completely mad.
Tie Wuqing stumbled backward, his foot slipped, and he stepped on a meatball that fell from the sky—it was a Soul-Chasing Nail that a disciple had originally intended to shoot.
"Hurry! Be quick!"
On the edge of chaos, a discordant low growl entered my ears.
Su Xiu crouched down, like a mouse that had entered a rice granary, her hands moving so fast they left afterimages.
She didn't care whether it was a cucumber or a steamed bun, and frantically stuffed the "food" on the ground into her storage bag.
Although it had become food, in her money-grubbing eyes, which were comparable to X-rays, it was still essentially a third-tier black iron and a crimson fire copper mother!
As long as you take it back and let Yu Liang wash it with his rusty sword, it'll be all money!
"This cucumber looks good, it's heavy, it's good quality."
"This basket of steamed buns—Crimson Fire Copper Mother? Take it! Hey you, pick up those candied hawthorns on the ground, they're transformed from the Immortal-Binding Lock, a string of them is worth eight hundred spirit stones!"
Beside it, the pink pig was sticking its butt out, frantically attacking the half-broken Thunder Whip on the ground.
"Hmph!"
Piglet swallowed the wide noodles in three gulps, a purple arc of electricity flashed across his pink fur, he let out a burp, and exhaled a ring of black smoke from his mouth.
Those were the remnants of the evil energy after it had been digested.
Yu Liang!
Tie Wuqing's eyes turned bloodshot. He suddenly turned his head and locked his gaze on the figure high above.
The culprit stood with his hands behind his back, his clothes fluttering, and a look of deep compassion on his face, as if the hellish scene before him was a magnificent painting he had meticulously crafted.
"Yu Liang!!!"
The roar was so loud it shattered, filled with the grief and indignation of a cuckoo crying blood, that it shook the surrounding rocks into a frenzy.
"Look what you've done! Turning your fellow disciples into monsters, turning magical artifacts into—food! This is sorcery! This is demonic practice! Today I will execute you on the spot!"
He raised his hand as if to summon heavenly thunder.
Only a few colorful, vibrant soap bubbles emerged from my palm.
Yu Liang looked down at him, not even raising an eyebrow.
But only he knew that the cold sweat on his back had soaked through his undershirt.
Play off.
This is not something I wanted to do!
This is clearly because the desires of these madmen are too strong, directly arousing the laws of that thing underground!
This isn't a cultivation world; it's clearly a massive reality distortion field!
But if he backs down at this point, Tie Wuqing will definitely bite him to death, even if it means turning into strawberry jam.
I had no choice but to act it out.
As long as I don't feel embarrassed, then what's embarrassing is simply the way of Heaven.
Yu Liang slowly spread his hands, a serene expression almost like that of a charlatan appeared on his face, his eyes as clear as those of a newborn baby.
"Elder Tie, your vision is too narrow."
He pointed to the disciple who was gnawing on his golden arm, and then to the enforcement disciple who was hugging the bridal sedan chair and grinning foolishly.
"You call this sorcery? No, it's a wish. It's the truest, most primal desire in the hearts of all beings."
Yu Liang's voice wasn't loud, but it carried throughout the entire room in the eerie silence, carrying a bewitching rhythm.
"They wanted power, and the Stone God gave them power—even if the price was turning them into monsters. They wanted happiness, and the Stone God gave them happiness—even if it meant looking like a madman."
"Who in this world dictates that cultivating immortality must involve deep suffering and hatred? Who dictates that magical artifacts can only be used to kill?"
Yu Liang shrugged and looked at Tie Wuqing with an innocent expression.
"As for your lightning whip turning into noodles—"
"Perhaps it's because deep down, Elder Tie didn't actually want to kill anyone. You're just a kind master who longs for warmth and wants to cook noodles for your disciples. Your so-called strictness is just a mask you wear to hide your soft heart."
"Sincerity moves mountains, Elder Tie. These noodles are the embodiment of your subconscious."
"puff-
'
Tie Wuqing almost spat out a mouthful of blood.
God freaking wants to cook noodles!
What a fantastic master!
I just want to beat you to death! I'll whip you into a spinning top!
"Nonsense! This is spreading falsehoods and misleading the public!"
Tie Wuqing trembled with rage, his finger shaking as he pointed at Yu Liang. "This is clearly a wicked formation you set up! You're exploiting their greed! You're distorting reality!"
"The divine messenger is right!"
Suddenly, the giraffe disciple roared.
The two-meter-long neck suddenly swung towards Yu Liang, causing him to fall flat on his face, his forehead slamming heavily into the pile of rubble, drawing blood.
"It's because our hearts weren't sincere enough! It's because our greed was too great that this distortion occurred!"
"This is all a test from the Stone Goddess! It's guidance from the Divine Messenger! He's teaching us to confront our own hearts!"
That shout was like pouring a ladle of ice water into boiling oil.
Blasted.
The bald gang members, who were previously reveling in the chaos, suddenly found their leader and the "truth" behind all this absurdity.
Splash—
Hundreds of strangely shaped disciples knelt down in unison.
With crocodile tails, covered in black fur, and transformed into golden figures—they looked up at their distorted faces, their eyes filled with a suffocating fervor.
"Greetings, Your Excellency the Divine Messenger!"
"May God bless us!"
"I am guilty! When I made my wish just now, I only thought about getting rich, and I didn't think about contributing to the sect! Please punish me, divine messenger!"
The sound waves were like a tidal wave, shaking the ground. Even the still-pulsating fleshy stone seemed to shrink back in fright from this frenzy.
Yu Liang's lips stiffened, and he almost lost his smile.
The script is wrong.
I wanted to shift the blame, not become the leader!