Sugar

Chapter 60

Cheng Che had no intention of jumping into the lake.

I just wanted to be quiet, and I came here without knowing it.It wasn't until he stood by the lake and lowered his head that he realized that half of his fingertip was cut and bleeding—he had really put so much effort into pinching that person just now.

If Zhao Qingling hadn't come, what would have happened?

Of course Cheng Che didn't want to kill anyone, he just wanted to silence that Chen Yiyang.

Although I have thought about it a long time ago, Zhao Qingling will know many things one day.But I still hope that he can never know.

……

In the rain, the familiar temperature tightly wraps the body.

"Go home first." He heard the man's voice in his ear, as gentle as coaxing a child, "Go home first, let's talk about what we have when we go home."

Then, the body was lifted up.

Just like that, he was carried by someone, and walked to the shore on the dangling wooden boards of the trestle bridge.

The rain is getting louder.

After walking for a short distance, Zhao Qingling stopped for half a step: "What? Cheche, did you say something, say it again? I didn't hear clearly."

"I said, why do you..."

There is no second half of the sentence.

Because this is a silly question, Cheng Che has always known it.And the answer to this question, since they got together, this person has told him countless times in a gentle, ear-to-ear manner.

Why do you like him?

"Of course because I like you."

"Why else?" Amidst the sound of the rain, the man's voice was both helpless and gentle, "Stupid or not."

"..."

"What if... What if, I'm different from what you imagined? What if, I'm not the kind of person you think, what if, I've concealed something from you! What if, I lied to you about something!"

"Ah."

Cheng Che was at a loss, he didn't know what that "hmm" meant.

"If you lied to me, then consider me stupid and deserve to be fooled." The voice of the person carrying him was still gentle.

"If it's you, Cheche, I'm willing to be fooled."

"So it's okay, don't be afraid, don't be afraid of anything."

"..."

Nothing... don't be afraid?

After walking two more steps forward, Cheng Che seemed to have realized something, and suddenly struggled, his voice was harsh: "Did you...do you know everything?"

Zhao Qingling: "Yes."

At that moment, the rain seemed to stop for a moment.Then the world returned to normal and the rain continued to fall.Cheng Che suddenly struggled violently, and the person who was carrying him had no choice but to put him down.

The little black rabbit with long legs fell back onto the green grass by the lake.He was stunned, breathing hard, and a simple question was broken into several paragraphs: "When did you know?"

Zhao Qingling: "Today, today?"

"But I knew you had something before." He added, "It's just that you never told me, and Yan Zhen didn't tell me either, so..."

As he spoke, he stretched out his hand, and cleverly grabbed Cheng Che's wrist, holding it tightly, as if to prevent him from running away again.

Cheng Che: "..."

He continued to be confused, with fierce eyes, and a little dazed: "Got it, do you still want me?"

Zhao Qingling: "Yes, yes."

"Even if my past is a mess?"

Zhao Qingling smiled: "Then my past is also a mess?"

Cheng Che: "But, it's different, I..."

He was interrupted before he finished speaking.With a light body, his whole body was lifted up again.

"I often thought about how stupid I was and why I went abroad. If I had stayed with you, Cheche, I would have been able to protect you and protect you well in those ten years, and not let you suffer any grievances. You don’t have to be forced to do even the slightest thing you can’t help yourself.”

"But you're stupid too."

"I know you don't like to hear this, but I still want to say it today. You will say it for the last time-you didn't tell me that you liked me in high school, you are really stupid, stupid to death!"

"And you idiot, how dare you not behave yourself even now. You are still being stupid all day long, and you still want to leave me!"

Cheng Che: "I didn't..."

Zhao Qingling: "How dare you say no? Who is the one who hasn't moved things over? Who is the one who hides a lot of things from me every day? Ang?"

Cheng Che didn't reply.

Because when the head is rushing down, the tears will really keep falling because of the force of gravity.He really felt that he was hopeless today, and his thoughts were completely messed up.It seems that for so long, the maturity, stability, open-mindedness and restraint that I worked so hard to build have all collapsed and collapsed.

He thought he was funny.

At the same time, it was inexplicably sad.At least at this moment, I don't want to be rational or stubborn anymore, I just want to indulge in this warm arm, and don't think about anything anymore.

……

When he got home, Zhao Qingling carried him into the bathroom.

Put hot water, throw it in and wash it.After washing and drying himself on the bed, Cheng Che was so exhausted that he fell into a coma.

Zhao Qingling reached out and stroked his slightly sunken eye sockets, where there were still some tears stained.

fuck.

fuck! ! !

He got up and looked at his own reflection in front of the dim full-length mirror. The person in the mirror was all wet, looking gloomy, tangled and irritable, and it was no better than Cheng Che's collapse at all.

Zhao Qingling felt that he was wrong.

Although I have always known that there is something wrong with me, but I have never felt annoyed, powerless and afraid like this moment.

In fact, of course he knew all along that Cheng Che was struggling.

How could you not know?He knew every bit of it, but he didn't expose it, because he just liked to see him like that-he originally liked to see him desperately fighting for this relationship, which made him feel that he was important.

So I deliberately pretended not to see it, and let him work so hard all the time, knowing that he was hiding a lot of reluctance and sadness behind his back.

Obviously you can tell him earlier, tell him you don't have to work so hard at all.

Tell him, I already like you just the way you are.Your original appearance has 100% exceeded my expectations.

So, no more working hard, no more reading, no more going to the gym.You don't have to learn how to dress, and you don't have to always want to "surprise" me.

But no, he never said a word.It's so fucking selfish to only care about yourself.

……

When he woke up again, Zhao Qingling saw the bloodshot eyes of the man in his arms as soon as he opened his eyes.It's a little scary, staring at him fixedly, anxious and fierce.

Zhao Qingling: "Are you awake?"

Cheng Che's voice was still hoarse. Although he looked a little sluggish, his spirit had returned to his normal state, at least he was no longer the collapsed state he was before.

He asked him, seeming a little anxious: "When did I fall asleep?"

Zhao Qingling rubbed his eyes and looked at the clock: "Five or six hours ago?"

Cheng Che: "..."

Zhao Qingling: "Hey, it's still early, it's okay to sleep a little longer."

In the end, Cheng Che didn't look sleepy at all, and grabbed his pajamas: "I still haven't finished talking, what I want to tell you, I actually... fell asleep. I wanted to tell you earlier of!"

"Qingling, you have to believe me in what I'm going to say next. You must, you must believe me!"

Zhao Qingling: "..."

"You promised me!"

Zhao Qingling: "Oh, good."

Cheng Che: "The things written in the file and the case, the things they said I did, are not true at all!"

Zhao Qingling: "Huh?"

"I used to work in nightclubs in the past few years. But, I really just went to sing!"

"At that time, my family owed a lot of debts. I needed money. I really had no choice. I went to the bar as soon as I got the money. At that time, I was a programmer during the day, and I changed my clothes and went to the bar at night. I did this for two days. For three years, I only sang and occasionally drank with guests when I had no other choice, but I never, never did anything else, not even once!"

"..."

"The night scene in the bar is very chaotic, but I'm like... In fact, it's not likely that anyone will pester me. I sang songs for two or three years, and nothing happened. But later, I don't know what happened. A second-generation bastard official who came to play always asked me to drink with him, and later, he said he wanted to support me by giving me money."

"I refused several times. He also got angry, smashed the place, and scolded me for not being flattering. Then one day, when he brought a few friends to play, he suddenly ordered a glass of wine for me and said yes. One last cup, I will never bother you again."

"I think he looks sincere, and the foreman brought me the wine himself, so I drank it as I thought it was all right. I didn't expect the foreman to be bought by them long ago, and they helped them prescribe the medicine for me."

"When I woke up that day, people were in the hotel bed. But I woke up earlier than they expected, and then I beat them and ran out of the hotel..."

Run after hitting, it seems easy to say.

But Cheng Che still remembered how hard he relied on his willpower to prop up his wobbly and spinning body that day, and dealt with those two beasts whose clothes were half off.

Of course, in order to protect himself, he hit hard, recklessly.

"Later, the other party went to the hospital for an examination of the injuries and reported the case. The other party's family was an official and had a deep relationship with the court. The attorney who represented him told me in private that their background was too hard and they really couldn't help me, so in the end I would It will be written like that on the case file after being sentenced."

"But that's not true! I really, really haven't done anything... Qing Ling, I was never touched by anyone when I met you, all, all my firsts are reserved for you of!"

A dead silence.

Cheng Che tried his best to finish everything, he was a little dazed, he didn't understand why Zhao Qingling didn't respond at all.

He was anxious and tugged at him: "Qingling, you said you would trust me!"

How could he not speak?

How could he not speak at this time? !

……

Zhao Qingling didn't say nothing on purpose, he really couldn't react.

"So, because of this," he murmured, "You almost strangled Chen Yiyang to death just to hide it?"

The result was of course kicked in seconds.

Cheng Che was furious on the spot: "What do you mean 'just' because of this?"

Zhao Qingling knew he had broken his promise.So in the follow-up, his baby kicked him with hatred, so he could only hide in various ways, and then hug him tightly.

Cheng Che: "I really didn't!"

Zhao Qingling: "Yes, yes, I know you don't."

"But I really didn't!" Cheng Che struggled, "But, I can't prove it! It's obvious that I don't have anything, but I can't produce any evidence to prove it!"

Zhao Qingling hurriedly said, "No proof is needed."

Cheng Che: "Of course you said that you don't need proof!"

Zhao Qingling: "In fact, I don't need any proof? So what do you think I'm attracted to you? Is your body pure? No, do I look like such a superficial person?"

"Well, like?"

He poked his nose over, and the tip of his nose was pressed against each other. The two of them made the bed messy and wrinkled, and then stared wide-eyed.

One is stubborn and aggrieved, and the other grinds his teeth, thinking that if you dare to say "like", I will bite you to death.

Fortunately, Cheng Che just lowered his eyes slowly.

"So before you..."

"Before," he asked him softly, looking like he didn't know whether he wanted to cry or laugh, "did you really think that I did something in the past, that I was a duck in a nightclub, sold it, and went to jail because of it... and then You still want me when you conceal all the deceit, don’t you?”

Zhao Qingling let out a "hmm".After a while, he shook his head again: "Actually, I didn't know you were still in prison before."

The tightly hugging arms tightened suddenly, Cheng Che: "..."

In such an embrace, I really... feel at ease.

He lowered his eyes: "It's okay, I didn't sit for a long time."

Zhao Qingling: "Cheche..."

Cheng Che: "But you really thought I sold it?"

Zhao Qingling was ashamed, and whispered: "I thought...you couldn't help yourself."

Cheng Che kicked him again: "Being involuntary is not a reason at all! How can you be so involuntary? What do you think if you dare to do this? You call me stupid every day, who is more stupid between us?! "

Zhao Qingling: "You're stupid. I'm a boyfriend with a clear mind, who can distinguish right from wrong, and not stupid at all."

Cheng Che: "..."

Zhao Qingling: "Aren't I?"

Actually he is.

……

Later, the two talked for a while and then did it.

It was very gentle that time, so gentle that it made people want to cry.In Cheng Che's trance, thinking about the fact that he never wanted to tell Zhao Qingling the "past", it was really not because he was afraid that he would not believe him.

In fact, he secretly felt in his heart that he would believe him.

Therefore, not telling him is simply not wanting him to know.I don't want him to know that he used to have such a family who gambled a lot, worked a shameless night job, and went to prison to be dirty in the eyes of others.

He always, always hoped that Zhao Qingling could only see his good side, and he had been working very hard to create the illusion that "everywhere is good" in front of Zhao Qingling.

But, maybe, he doesn't need to work hard to be "someone else".

Because even if it was his worst possibility, Zhao Qingling said he still wanted him without hesitation.

Of course, his male god is a sex maniac, so it is impossible to let him go just once.

When the soul and body merged again, Cheng Che suddenly had a clear and vague feeling of relief.

Countless times of passion, in fact, the feeling of giving his soul to him countless times, but before, that soul was always heavy.That kind of heaviness is the heaviness he has "liked" him for so many years, and he cherishes it, but it often weighs him down.

Until this moment, everything is light and light.

……

When he woke up again, Cheng Che finally started to tell Zhao Qingling about his past ten years.

It was the first time to mention his unlucky brother to him.

"When I was young, because my father often beat us, the child had a weird personality when he was young."

"Later, when my father committed a crime and ran away in high school, I had to go to school, work part-time and support the family. I really didn't have the energy to discipline him anymore. He was hanging out with people at that time."

"Fighting, gambling, and hiding at home when something happened. I didn't want to give up on him. After all, he is the only relative I have left, so I have been helping him pay off his debts and clean up his troubles in those years, but later I found out that He can't change it at all."

Although it was only a few words, Zhao Qingling could fully imagine how full of five poisons that "disaster brother" could be.

Disaster's younger brother is now in a juvenile correctional center.Cheng Che, as a man who could bear even Yan Zhen and him, turned out that there were people in this world that he couldn't bear.

Cheng Che: "I didn't want to tell you before, because I was afraid that you would think my family was like this."

"Aren't you afraid now?"

Cheng Che shook his head.

Zhao Qingling: "Why?"

"because……"

Because, from the first day they were together, he had been relying on his little sun, seeking warm healing all the time.

At the same time, I was silently afraid, afraid of losing everything in front of me.

But, has he been cured?

In the beginning, it was indeed he who gave him everything, but those love and courage seemed to slowly permeate and become his inner strength.

He is really not afraid now.

Don't be afraid of anything.