my you

Chapter 59

The classes here are all basic classes, as long as you can figure it out, getting a high score is not a problem.

Lu Ding attended classes with others during the day, and studied the school courses by himself when he returned to the dormitory at night.

In the monthly exam a month later, he really got the first place.When he was on duty, Lu Ding avoided the cameras along the way and hid the folded flower blue in the dog hole, waiting for Fang Sheng to take it away.

When Lu Ding was on duty for the second time, he went to look again. The tattered little flower basket he had put in was gone, and it was replaced by a better stacked one.Although it rained twice during this period, the paper surface looked wrinkled after being soaked and dried, but it still couldn't hide the delicacy of this paper flower basket.

He took out the note inside, and it was still in a font that he was too familiar with.

(Xiao Fang asked me to tell you that he loves you so much.)

Lu Ding smiled, took out a pen from his pocket, and wrote under the line:

(I love you too.)

"What are you doing squatting here?"

Lu Ding put away the pen, put the note with the message in the original flower basket, stood up, "Teacher Yang."

The man pursed his lips, his eyes were full of displeasure, "Are you not going to let Fang Sheng out of the hospital?"

"He shouldn't have come here," Lu Ding looked at him. "What do you usually let him do? Let him see my picture and hear my name and feel disgusted? Make him afraid of this feeling? This is you The so-called treatment?"

"The leaders above say it's a mental illness!"

Lu Ding laughed, "Mental illness? These so-called leaders regard this as a paradise? Don't you know the Wei and Jin Dynasties? As early as 2001, homosexuality was not considered a mental illness in our country."

"I can't say no to you," Mr. Yang walked to the dog hole, bent down to pick up the flower basket, opened it to look, and said in a deep voice, "Follow me."

Lu Ding followed him and took the elevator to the fourth floor of the treatment building.

This is the monitoring room of the entire treatment center, a room of several hundred square meters, and the surrounding walls are full of mobile phone-sized screens, and they are very clear.There is only one computer in the room, and a man is sitting in front of the computer.

Teacher Yang patted the security personnel on the shoulder, "Turn on the surveillance in treatment room 3 on the second floor."

The staff member tapped the keyboard and mouse, and quickly called up the real-time monitoring.

Lu Ding looked along the screen.

It was a room that was exactly the same as the treatment room he had been to. A boy was sitting on the sofa receiving electric shock therapy, and a large photo hung in front of him.

There is also a boy in the picture.

He understood in an instant.

Perhaps at a certain time in the past, Fang Sheng was also sitting on that sofa, looking at his photo, receiving the unbearable electric shocks over and over again.

Lu Ding's face was pale.

Teacher Yang turned off the real-time monitoring, turned around and said to Lu Ding, "Don't think about yourself, but also think about Fang Sheng. Not to mention anything else, during this period, even if the doctor Fang Sheng increased the intensity of electric shocks and daily With medication, his healing effect is still not as good as it was before you appeared, do you know what this means?"

Seeing that Lu Ding did not speak, he continued, "If there is really no other way, we can only take extreme measures, such as shortening the time between two electric shock treatments, increasing the dose, and instilling more normal thoughts in him."

Lu Ding frowned, "So?"

"You also know that the medicine is three-point poisonous, but Fang Sheng must be transformed into a normal person here, so that he can explain to his parents."

Lu Ding turned his head and swallowed bitterly, "You mean, threaten me with Fang Sheng's personal safety, and let me take the initiative to break up with him?"

"Lu Ding, I know that you are not addicted to the Internet. However, Fang Sheng really loves you. You can pretend that nothing happened, and you will be discharged from the hospital without suffering any crimes. But do you think Fang Sheng is okay? ...If you want, I can arrange for you to meet, after all, it is better to talk about this matter in person. "

"Okay, I promise you," Lu Ding couldn't hold back the tears accumulated in his eyes anymore, he stretched out his hand to Teacher Yang, "Give me back the flower basket and the note."

He believes that with Fangsheng's character, even if he endures great pain, he will not agree to break up.But Lu Ding dare not gamble, who knows if too much electric shock will cause damage to the organs in the body, who knows if taking too much unknown medicine will affect the brain, after all, Fang gave birth to that brain, no matter how IQ is. It should be above 140, but it can’t be eaten badly, what can be done if it is eaten bad, Fang Sheng will be a person who will do big things after birth.

Lu Ding hid under the quilt, holding the two notes written by Fang Sheng in his hand, and read them over and over again.

He seemed to be able to imagine Fang Sheng's expression when he wrote these words.

When Fang Sheng spoke, he still smiled at him as before, his eyes sparkled like little stars.

He could still smell the faint fragrance from Fang Sheng's body.

Fang Sheng would act coquettishly and let him cook for him. He used the small pot in the dormitory to cook glutinous rice balls, instant noodles, and fried eggs...

The two of them can still squeeze together on the bed in the dormitory, fighting for pillows and quilts.

He was still sitting in a corner of the school gymnasium, watching the coach training Fangsheng to be lazy.

Fang Sheng was also waiting at the entrance of the tutoring institution on a small electric donkey. When he came out, he said, "I have been waiting for you at school for 33 minutes and 38 seconds, but I haven't seen you come back, so I came to pick you up."

Teacher Yang adjusted Lu Ding's weekly duty schedule, and his weekly duty time happened to be one day longer than Fang Sheng's.

Fang Sheng probably wanted to come to Goudong to get the note, but he saw Lu Ding who had been waiting here for a long time.

Between them, there is still the iron fence that Lu Ding turned over, but since Lu Ding turned it over once, it has been electrified.

Seeing him coming, Lu Ding smiled wryly, "Come?"

Fang Sheng obviously didn't know what he was about to say, he only knew that the person he was thinking about day and night was standing in front of him, and all suffering should disappear.With a rising smile on the corner of his mouth, he asked cheerfully, "Did you transfer?"

Lu Ding nodded, "Fang Sheng, tell me, if a person's obsession is too deep, is it possible to really realize it?"

Fang Sheng's face changed slightly, "Why do you ask this suddenly?"

"Fang Sheng, my only obsession is you, but now..."

Fang Sheng stared into his eyes and interrupted him, "You'd better not say anything I don't want to hear."

Lu Ding ignored him and continued: "Look, there is only a net between us. But, this is the unflattering mountain and sea between you and me..."

"Can you stop talking!" Fang Sheng almost yelled, "It's so damn hard to see you, do you have to take this time to fart in front of me?"

"Thank you, Fang Sheng, thank you."

Thanks for what?

do not know.

It seems that I should thank you for everything.

Thank you Fang Sheng for being willing to give me the freedom, thank you Fang Sheng for letting him experience the purest and purest feelings.

But how much sadness and helplessness, pain and desolation are contained in this thank you.

"Don't think that if I can't hit you now, it means I dare not hit you!" Fang Sheng grabbed a handful of rocks and soil from the ground and threw it at Lu Ding's face, "Wait, I'll beat your mother the day you leave the hospital I don't even know each other."

The handful of soil didn't splash on Lu Ding's face, most of it fell in mid-air.

"Shengsheng," Lu Ding looked at his hand grabbing the soil just now. There were several new scratches on it. It should be that there were fine glass slags in the soil, which scratched his hand. "Do you remember that we were together?" I saw a movie, which said that some people think that persistence will make us stronger, but sometimes letting go will also make us stronger."

Fang Sheng ignored him, squatted on the ground, sobbing softly.

Looking at his huddled figure, Lu Ding couldn't stop the pain in his heart, "Let's break up, okay?"

"Not good!" Fang Sheng covered his ears with a strong crying voice, but he still didn't look up at him, "I give you ten seconds to retract all the words you just said." He looked at the white wrist on his hand. Table, "I started counting, ten, nine, eight, seven..."

"Shengsheng, stop making trouble."

"Lu Ding, I really hope that the sensibility in your body can overcome the rationality for once," Fang Sheng began to sob, every sound, every tear, pierced into Lu Ding's heart like a knife, and he couldn't breathe from the pain Come on.

"Shengsheng," Lu Ding took a deep breath, "I asked you to eat and sleep well during this time, have you done it?"

Fang Sheng looked up at Lu Ding and nodded, "I ate well, but I couldn't sleep."

Lu Ding endured the soreness in his throat, and tried his best to make his tone as calm and gentle as possible, "Why can't I sleep?"

"I'm in pain. I can't sleep because of the pain. They electrify me and feed me medicine, so every bone and every blood vessel in me hurts." Fang Sheng squeezed the safety buckle hanging on his chest, "But, I I can bear it when I think of you. I think it would be good to see you in my dream, so that I can barely squint for a while. But you want to break up with me now! You don’t want me anymore, how can you let me hold on go down?"

Lu Ding wiped the tears from his face, "I love you, but we can't be together."

Fang Sheng looked into his eyes, "What do you love about me?"

"I love the freedom in your eyes the most."

"You love the freedom in my eyes the most, and I love the freedom in you," Fang Sheng sniffed, "but now, I don't have freedom in my eyes, and you don't have freedom in your body, do you still love me? "

Lu Ding looked at him and said slowly, "I love you."

Fang Sheng smiled, "But I don't love you now, Lu Ding...Since we can't be together, then I will keep my mouth shut and say I love you." After speaking, he turned around and ran away, as never before.

It wasn't until Fang Sheng ran away that he couldn't even see his shadow that Lu Ding slowly squatted down with his head in his arms.

Fang Sheng became thinner.

He had a small frame, but when he practiced gymnastics, he was muscular, and he looked very well-proportioned and beautiful.

But now, even though he was wrapped in loose clothes, Fang Sheng still looked very thin, with a thinner face, thinner neck, and thinner exposed wrists and ankles.

He hadn't had time to go to Yunnan to support education with Fang Sheng.

The two of them haven't had a photo together yet.

From being together in a serious way to breaking up now, it has only been less than five months since they were together.

The time they spend together every day is only two months.

Too many regrets.

Too many regrets are piled up together, and it seems that it is not a big deal if I have to single out one.

But it was so uncomfortable.

Lu Ding squatted on the ground, hammering his heart hard.

Isn't this the best choice after playing for a long time?

The best choices never give people a chance to regret.

Lu Ding's fist really hit his chest, causing a tight pain in his chest.

Until he accidentally hit the safety buckle hanging around his neck.

Lu Ding held the safety buckle and sat on the ground as if he lost his strength.

From the first time he saw Fang Sheng, he fell in love with his self-confidence that gushed out all the time, as well as the wisdom that came out of his bones.

Fang Sheng.

Even just this name, to him, is a warm publicity.

He never had equal love.

He even suspected that no one in this world would treat him so well except Fang Sheng.

It's all gone now.

The author has something to say: it's almost over