Feeding equation

(75)

Love, what is love?

What is it like to love someone, and what is it like to be loved?

Standing in the misty bathroom, my slightly lonely figure is reflected in the mirror in front of me.The person in the mirror has red eyes from crying, slightly red and swollen lips with wounds, and messy hair propped up on his head uncomfortably, like weeds.On the naked body, there are slightly red traces of lust, like an ink painting with oil paint, a mess of mottled.

From the turned-on shower, the cold water flowing out fell on the ground and splashed a piece of wetness.It fell on my calf, it was really cold.

The time now is probably two o'clock in the morning.After the chaotic indulgence, the emptiness in my heart expanded again and again.

Instead of boiling hot water, rinse your body over and over again with cold water so cold that you can freeze your teeth off.When the white turbidity belonging to that man flowed out of my body, I had a feeling that I was dirty and rotten from the inside out.

I don't know what I'm really thinking at this moment.Now I am completely empty.Just now Wu Si told me that he loves me, and suddenly I can no longer feel any second emotion except suffocation.

His love is too heavy.I really can't bear it.

He propped himself up, gritted his teeth, and put his hand behind the place he had never touched before. Apart from redness and swelling, the acupuncture point was slightly lacerated.I dipped my fingers into the body with ordinary anti-inflammatory drugs, and the burning feeling from inside to outside gave me another urge to kill.

what is love?Is it humiliating, or heavy?

I don't think he loves me.His love is for loving himself, and for others, he is so vicious that he can only play tricks.

But for me, it should be a joke...

I slightly curled the corners of my mouth, and my heart was filled with infinite melancholy.I thought I was going to cry, but I ended up laughing.

When he walked out of the bathroom, Wu Si was still asleep.In the quiet time, apart from the sound of rain, the only thing that could be heard was his clear and shallow breathing.

The child who belonged to him was lying on the sofa and sleeping soundly.The child who was casually hung up here by his father, even though he was still wrapped in the raincoat that was drenched in rain when he came, was unexpectedly at ease with the situation.Such a character really followed his father's.But such a character is really unexpected and damn it!

He reached out and touched the boy's neck.The small body with the scent of milk is not full at all.

What if the child died now?I can't help but imagine this.Even thinking about it, even the blood in his body boiled.

In fact, if it wasn't for Wu Si, I would definitely love her as my own life.But this child is not worthy of my love at all now. Like her father, she is born with a disgusting temperament.And such people should be damned!

Angrily, he exerted force on his hand.As long as I push a little harder, this child will return to the west to find her mother.Her mother betrayed me, her father betrayed me.She was born with a primitive error.I killed her, nothing more than a matter of course!

But, it doesn't matter!

I slowly lowered my hands, stood up numbly and went back to the bedroom.In the dark bedroom, only the desk lamp in the corner emits a faint light.I randomly took the coat I wore a few days ago and put it on my body, and when I walked to the restaurant, I found the mobile phone that was not fully charged by me on the dining table.

Out the door, walking in the rain torrential street.On the quiet street, there is only the sound of wind and rain.Without an umbrella, let the wind and rain hit my hair that is not completely dry.The wet chill unceremoniously penetrated into the body.

The 24-hour convenience store not far downstairs was still lit.I ordered a cup of instant noodles and sat down at a random seat. The moment I looked up, I saw my face reflected in the floor-to-ceiling glass windows.The familiar face was blurred to the point of being shapeless.

Why did I become like this?

Sometimes I really think about it.

I began to hate my current life, people and things around me.If not such a life, such a person and such a thing.Will I be happier?

I didn't belong here in the first place.I was born in a family of policemen, and three generations of my ancestors have brought the glory of the police circle.If it hadn't been for something wrong with my father's mission, maybe my life would have been a different scene.I'm always looking for a change.It's a pity that my strength is too weak and I can't change it at all.Or maybe it's just an excuse, and I just haven't had the guts, the determination.

Over the years, I've been muddling along.My father used to be loyal to the Red Gang because of the kindness of the Wu family, but I am different.If you really want to get to the bottom of the matter and trace the favor I have received, then I just owe my life to the Wu family.I can return this rotten life to the Wu family, I will not care at all.Anyway, from the beginning to the end, I did not have the self-consciousness to support the samurai family, not before, not now, and certainly not in the future.On the contrary, after going through so many things, I even have an idea of ​​wanting to be at odds with the Samurai family.And if the Red Gang is destroyed, then its current leader, Wu Si, will definitely be implicated!

I admit that I can be really mean sometimes.But in today's world, if you are not despicable, you will not be "benevolent".As for the reason why I have turned into this extreme appearance today, I should really ask Wu Si.

Clutching the contact information that Song Qiao wrote to me a few days ago, he hesitated for a moment and finally dialed the number on it.

After the lengthy CRBT, Song Qiao rang from the phone with a sleepy voice.

"I'm Haixi." In the silence after identifying my identity, I heard the sound of my heart about to beat out of my chest, "Does what you told me that day still count?"

……

When I am alone, I always think of many things.Thoughts flew chaotically, unable to find the head or tail.

Sitting in the convenience store for hours on end, I didn't start walking back until it was fully dawn.

The air in the morning is extraordinarily fresh, especially in the first rainy weather. The fresh air seems to have been washed in water, mixed with the fragrance of plants and the bitter taste of soil, and inhaled into the lungs, it makes people feel refreshed.

At this time, the rain that had been raining all night had completely stopped, and the raindrops that accidentally fell from the trees mixed with the fallen leaves in autumn, and fell from the top of the head in the distance, gracefully like a butterfly falling into the water.The ground underfoot was wet, and the mud splashed when I stepped on it stained my trousers.There are not many pedestrians coming and going around, and the breakfast cart with the hygiene sign has just set up its stall.

A gust of wind blew by, and the very cold wind made me shrink my neck involuntarily.

After this rain, the weather seems to be getting colder.

When he was about to get home, he had just entered the elevator when he saw Wu Si squatting at the door.When he saw me coming, he stood up suddenly and came over and hugged me in his arms.

"Where have you been?" he asked nervously.In my ears, there was still a little trill in his voice.

I didn't move, let him hold me tightly.

His arms are warm.For a person who is exposed to rain and wind.

"I was just worried that you would not come back..." Seeing that I didn't speak, he hugged me a little more indifferently.His face rubbed against mine, his hot skin pressed against mine tightly.Maybe it was because it was too warm, my heart suddenly felt like a stone was thrown into a quiet lake, and there were ripples in an instant.

"Hey, Wu Si..." After being hugged by him for a few minutes, I finally opened my mouth somewhat depressed, "It's too tight, I can't breathe." I moved my arms and broke away from his embrace.

The air was momentarily stagnant.I stood there, and Wu Si stood there too.Neither of us spoke again, nor moved.The only difference is that during this time I kept staring at the ground beneath my feet, while Wuji kept staring at me.

I hate this sudden weird vibe.I hate the way Wuji looks at me in surprise.

"Hae-tin..." He called my name.

As usual, if I resist him, he will definitely beat me to the ground.But now it seems that the situation has changed. Not only did he not beat me, but he looked at me with a look that I couldn't understand.And now every time he calls my name, I feel my scalp go numb.

"I... I just went to morning exercise!" I don't know why I want to explain to him.But when he opened his mouth, it was such a clumsy lie that it could be exposed in an instant.

I was a little annoyed, and just about to say something more, the warrior who had been staring at me rushed towards me again like a madman.

"I love you!" he said as he hugged me.This is already the second time he confessed to me, the first time, I remember it was... yesterday.

The corners of his mouth subconsciously curled up, but his heart was full of sadness.I suddenly felt very ironic, he loves me, a man loves me, Wu Si loves me... What an ironic fact!

I didn't speak, the corridor in the early morning was as quiet as walking into a ghost town.Surrounded by the smell of Wu Si, when I became aware of this familiar and clean breath, I suddenly found that I had become accustomed to him to such an extent unconsciously.

I didn't resist when Wu Si kissed me.To be honest, I no longer know what it means to resist or not.Wu Si and I have done all the things we can and cannot do. It is too hypocritical to say that we are resisting now.

I was a little surprised when he frantically picked me up and threw me into the bedroom.He is only a few centimeters taller than me, but his strength is terrifying.No matter how slender I am, I am still a grown man, not to mention that I am not so slender, he lifted me up like a chicken effortlessly, which more or less hurt my man's self-esteem.

However, this doesn't seem to matter!

Looking at the ceiling above his head with his eyes open, his mind was filled with Hua Lin's hoarse voice from yesterday.

……

"Hai Xi, are you pretending to be stupid? Don't you understand why Wu Si treats me like this?!"

He doesn't answer my calls and doesn't care about his children. Who do you think is because of it? ! "

"Hai Xi, why don't you die! If you died, maybe I wouldn't be where I am today!"

……

Is it all because of... me?

Hua Lin's last voice was like heavy drumsticks, hitting my heart one after another, causing me a dull pain.

Does Hua Lin hate me because Wu Si loves me?

Wu Si once said that he did not tell Hua Lin about our going to bed.Maybe he didn't say it, but that didn't prevent Hua Lin from knowing.She has always been a very clever woman, so clever that she can see everything.It's just that I ignored her intelligence and foolishly thought that she would stay with me forever, so we have come to this point today.What I didn't expect was that she hated me.Because of Wu Si, she actually hates me.

The corners of his mouth curled up bitterly, and when he came back to his senses, Wu Si was lying between my legs and reaching out to undo my belt.

In the room, the child who was carried by Wu Si yesterday was completely silent.I just looked at it deliberately when I passed the living room, and it seems that the child is no longer in this apartment.

Maybe Wuji had already sent the child out while I was out.But that has nothing to do with me after all.I'm too lazy to ask, and I don't want to know.

Sitting up on the bed, Wu Si took the initiative to undo his belt amidst Wu Si's surprise.It seems that he is not used to me actively cooperating with Wu Si. Although he watched me take off his pants, he didn't take any action himself.

I let out a sigh, and climbed over and rode on him more actively.

"Wu Si, why do you love me..." I leaned down and kissed his lips.

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